A successful man is one who makes more money that his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Successful Man & Woman
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The Real Boss
The boss was complaining in our staff meeting the other day that he wasn’t getting any respect. The next day, he brought a small sign that read: “I’m the Boss!” He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said: “Your wife called, she wants her sign back!”
What Shall We Sing?
A down and up musician was playing his harmonica in the middle of a busy shopping mall. Striding over, a policeman asked, “May I please see your permit?”
“I don’t have one,” confessed the musician. “In that case, you’ll have to accompany me.” “Splendid!” exclaimed the musician. “What shall we sing?”
No Pockets
A young banker decided to get his first tailor made suit. So he went to the finest tailor in town and got measured for a suit.
A week later, he went in for his first fitting. He put on the suit and he looked stunning, he felt that in this suit he can do business. As he was preening himself in front of the mirror he reached down his hands in the pockets and to his surprise he noticed that there were no pockets.
He mentioned this to the tailor who asked him, “Didn’t you tell me you were a banker?” The young man answered, “Yes, I did.” To this the tailor said, “Who ever heard of a banker with his hands in his own pockets?”
Photographer in the Sky
A photographer from a well know national magazine was assigned to cover the fires at Yellowstone National Park. When the photographer arrived, he realised that the smoke was so thick that it would seriously impede or make it impossible for him to photograph anything from ground level. He requested permission to rent a plane and take photos from the air.
He arrived at the airport and saw a plane warming up near the gate. He jumped in with his bag and shouted, “Let’s go!” The pilot swung the little plane into the wind, and within minutes they were in the air.
The photographer said, “Fly over the park and make two or three low passes so I can Take some pictures.”
“Why?” asked the pilot.
“Because I’m a photographer,” he responded, “and photographers take photographs.”
The pilot was silent for a moment; finally he stammered, “You mean you’re not the flight instructor?”
New Job
Several weeks after a young man had been hired, he was called into the personnel director’s office. “What is the meaning of this?” the director asked. “When you applied for this job, you told us you had five years experience. Now we discovered this is the first job you’ve ever held.”
The young man replied, “Well, in your advertisement, you said you wanted somebody with great imagination.”
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