Sunday, July 3, 2022
Travel Jokes

Blind Horse Jokes Times

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse, named Buddy.

He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, “Pull, Nellie, pull!” Buddy didn’t move. Then the farmer hollered, “Pull, Buster, pull!” Buddy again didn’t respond.

Once more the farmer commanded, “Pull, Coco, pull!” Buddy never move a muscle at all. Then the farmer nonchalantly said, “Pull, Buddy, pull!” And the horse easily dragged the car out of the ditch.

The motorist was most appreciative and very curious. He asked the farmer why he called his horse by the wrong name three times. The farmer said, “Oh, Buddy is blind and if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn’t even try.”

Buying Alligator Shoes Jokes Times

A man was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some Alligator shoes.

However he was not prepared to pay the high prices, and after having failed to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, ended up shouting “I don’t give two hoots for your shoes man, I’ll go and kill my own “croc!,” to which the shopkeeper replied, “by all means, just watch out for those two “ole boys” who are doing the same!”.

So the man went out into the Bayou, and after a while saw two men with spears, standing still in the water. ‘They must be the ‘ole boys’ he thought. Just at that point he noticed an alligator moving in the water towards one of them.

The guy stood completely passive, even as the gator came ever closer.

Just as the beast was about to swallow the him, he struck home with his spear and wrestled the gator up onto the beach, where several already laying.

Together the two guys threw the gator onto its back, where-upon one exclaimed “Darn! This one doesn’t have any shoes either!”.

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Stupid Question at Airport Jokes Times

A man was at the airport checking in his baggage at the gate. When the airport employee asked, “Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?” The man said, “If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?”

Health Care Jokes Times

The Queen of England is touring an American Hospital with the Surgeon General.

As they walk through the corridors she looks into a patient’s room. In the room, is a man laying on his bed masturbating. “Oh my stars! What on earth is going on in there?!” exclaimed the Queen.

The Surgeon General replied, “Why mam, this man has a serious testicle disorder, if he does not relieve himself this way at least five times a day, they will fill up with semen and explode.” “Oh, the poor dear!” the Queen said sorrowfully.

Further up the hall the queen looks into another patient’s room and there is a man laying on his bed with a nurse giving him a blow job!

“That’s disgusting!” exclaimed the queen, “What’s going on in there?!”

The Surgeon General replied, “same problem, better health plan.”

Baby Airplanes Jokes Times

A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines fromKansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big airplanes have baby airplanes?”

The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess.

So the boy went down the aisle and asked the stewardess. Thestewardess, who was very busy at the time, smiled and said, “Did your Mom tell you to ask me?”

The boy said, “yes she did.”

“Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby airplanes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your Mom explain that to you.”

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New Stewardess Jokes Times

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new stewardess. The route they were flying had a stay-over in another city, so upon their arrival, the captain showed the steward the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day’s route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened to her. She answered the phone, sobbing, and said she couldn’t get out of her room.

“You can’t get out of your room?” the captain asked, “Why not?” The stewardess replied, “There are only three doors in here,” she cried, “one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says ‘Do Not Disturb’!”

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