Wednesday, January 19, 2022
Children Jokes

The Potty Jokes Times

A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet. His mother thinks he has been in there too long, so she goes in to see what’s up. The little boy is sitting on the toilet reading a book. But about every 10 seconds or so he puts the book down, grips onto the toilet seat with his left hand and hits himself on top of the head with his right hand.

His mother says: “Billy, are you alright? You’ve been in here for a while…

Billy says: “I’m fine, mommy.. I just haven’t gone ‘Doody’ yet.”

Mother says: “Ok, you can stay here a few more minutes. But, Billy, why are you hitting yourself on the head?”

Billy says: “Works for ketchup.”

New Member in Family Jokes Times

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house.

One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped telling his teacher about the impending event.

The teacher finally sat the boy on her lap and said, “Tommy, whatever has become of that baby brother or sister you were expecting at home?”

Tommy burst into tears and confessed, “I think Mommy ate it!”

I Need A Drink Jokes Times Jokes Times
  1. You are different and that’s bad.
  2. Pop goes the hamster…… and other great microwave games.
  3. What is that dog doing to that other dog?
  4. The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins and the Vice Squad.
  5. Barbar meets the taxidermist.
  6. Testing home made parachutes using household pets.
  7. Garfield gets feline leukemia.
  8. The Kids’ Guide to hitchhiking.
  9. The pop-up book of human anatomy.
  10. Things rich kids have, but you never shall.
  11. The Care Bears maul some campers and are shot dead.
  12. The boy who died from eating all his vegetables.
  13. Controlling the Playground: Respect through fear.
  14. You were an accident.
  15. Some Kittens can fly!
  16. Daddy drinks because you cry.
  17. Curious George and the high voltage fence.
  18. How to become the dominant military power in your primary school.
  19. Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Point become friends.
  20. Start an estate agency with the change from your mums purse.

Chicken Sandwiches Jokes Times

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends.

Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn’t a chicken sandwich.

He said, “Hey, how come you’re not eating chicken, don’t you like it anymore?”

She said “I love it but I have to stop eating it.” “Why?” he asked. She pointed to her lap and said “Cause I’m starting to grow little feathers down there!”

“Let me see” he said. “Okay” and she pulled up her skirt. He looked and said, “That’s right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken.”

He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter.

He said to the little girl, “I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I’m starting to get feathers down there too!”

She asked if she could look, so he pulled down his pants for her.

She said, “Oh, my God, it’s too late for you! You’ve already got the neck and the gizzards.”

Did God Make You Jokes Times

A little girl is sitting on her grandpa’s lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face and looks more puzzled. Finally the little girl asks, “Grandpa, did God make you?”

“He sure did honey, a long time ago,” replies her grandpa.

“Well, did God make me?” asks the little girl.

“Yes, He did, and that wasn’t too long ago,” answers her grandpa.

“Boy,” says the little girl, “He’s sure doing a lot better job these days isn’t He?”

Greeting Cards Jokes Times

A little boy had been pawing over the stock of greeting cards at a stationery store.

After a few minutes the clerk became curious and asked, “Just what is it you’re looking for, sonny? Birthday greeting? Message to a sick friend? Anniversary congratulations to your mom and dad?”

The boy shook his head, “No.”

“Then what kind of card is it that you want?” asked the clerk.

The boy answered wistfully, “Got anything in the line of blank report cards?”

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