Thursday, April 22, 2021
Work Jokes

Printer Repair Jokes Times

When my printer’s type began to grow faint, I called a local repair shop where a friendly man informed me that the printer probably needed only to be cleaned. Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told me, I might be better off reading the printer’s manual and trying the job myself. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, I asked, “Does your boss know that you discourage business?” “Actually it’s my boss’s idea,” the employee replied sheepishly. “We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first.”

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A Kinder, Gentler System Jokes Times

Sony has announced its own computer operating system now available on its hot new notebook PC. Instead of producing the cryptic error message characteristic of Microsoft’s operating systems, Sony’s president said,”We intend to capture the high ground by putting a human, Japanese face on what has been-until now-an operating system that reflects Western cultural hegemony. For example, we have replaced the impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages with our own Japanese haiku poetry.” The chairmanwent on to give examples of Sony’s new error messages:

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

The Web site you seek
Can not be located but
Countless more exist

Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.

ABORTED effort:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask way too much.

Yesterday it worked
Today it is not working
Windows is like that.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
so beautifully.

With searching comes loss
and the presence of absence:
“My Novel” not found.

The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao, until
You bring fresh toner.

Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.

Stay the patient course
Of little worth is your ire
The network is down

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,
but the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.

Having been erased,
The document you’re seeking
Must now be retyped.

Serious error.All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

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Funny Windows Messages for 2006 Jokes Times

1. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.

2. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.

3. Press any key except… no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!

4. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.

5. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?

6. Windows message: “Error saving file! Format drive now?(Y/Y)”

7. This is a message from God Gates: “Rebooting the world.Please log off.”

8. To “shut down” your system, type “WIN”

9. BREAKFAST.SYS halted… Cereal port not responding.

10. COFFEE.SYS missing… Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.

11. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

12. Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)

13. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.

14. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)

15. WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL &PAPER.SYS)

16. User Error: Replace user.

17. Windows VirusScan 1.0 – “Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)”

18. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way

Pain Transfer Jokes Times

A married couple went to the hospital together to have their baby delivered.

Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a machine which would transfer a portion of the mother’s labour pain to the father. He asked if they were willing to try it out, and they both agreed enthusiastically.

The doctor set the knob to 10 percent for starters, explaining that even 10 percent was probably more pain than the father had ever experienced before.

But as the labour progressed, the husband felt fine, so he asked the doctor to go ahead and bump it up a notch.

The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20 percent pain transfer. The husband was still feeling fine, so the doctor upped the percentage to 50% and finally 100%, since the wife was obviously benefiting from the transfer.

The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain. She and her husband were ecstatic.

When they got home, the mailman was dead on their porch.

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