Saturday, June 6, 2020
Doctor Jokes

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Kentucky Jelly Jokes Times

A doctor was caring for a woman from Kentucky and asked, “So, how’s your breakfast this morning?”

“It’s very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t seem to get used to the taste,” the patient replied.

The doctor finds it funny and asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled “KY Jelly.”

Running Out of Places Jokes Times

During a patient’s two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, the patient inform his doctor that he was having trouble with one of his medications.

“Which one?” the doctor asked.

“The patch”, the patient answered. “The nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I’m running out of places to put it!”

The doctor had him quickly undress and discovered the man had over fifty patches on his body!

Now the instructions include removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Read the Chart Jokes Times

A doctor was performing a complete physical, including the visual acuity test.

He placed the patient twenty feet from the chart and began, “Cover your right eye with your hand.” The patient read the 20/20 line perfectly.

“Now your left.” Again, a flawless read.

“Now both,” The doctor requested. There was silence. The patient couldn’t even read the large E on the top line.

The doctor turned and discovered that he had done exactly covered both eyes.

Big Breaths Jokes Times

An elderly and slightly deaf female patient went to see a doctor.

The doctor placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall.

“Big breaths,” The doctor instructed.

“Yes, they used to be big,” remorsefully replied the patient.

Lose Weight Now, Ask Me How Jokes Times

Mr Lee was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
“I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 kg.”

When Mr Lee returned, he shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 kg. “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?”

Mr Lee nodded. “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day.”

“From hunger?” asked the doctor.

“No, from skipping.”

Stuttering Jokes TImes

A stuttering man finally decides to go to the doctor to see if his speech impediment can be cured. The doctor thoroughly examines the man and finally asks him to drop his pants.

Out comes this gigantic dick and the doctor pronounces the root of the problem to be strain on the vocal chords from the effects of gravity being transmitted up to the neck area.

The patient then asks, “wh-wh-at c-c-ca-an b-b-e d-d-done ab-b-bout- t-t i-i-t?” to which the doctor replies, “modern surgery can work miracles. We can replace your dick with one of normal size and the stuttering will disappear right after the operation.”

The patient eagerly agrees to the surgery, and as promised his stuttering disappears.

About 3 months later the man returns to the doctor and complains, “doctor, I am grateful to you for having cured me, but my wife really misses a big dick, and rather than lose her I’ve decided to get my old dick back and live with stuttering for the rest of my life.” The doctor then looks straight at the man and replies, “d-d- de-deal’s a d-d-deal.”


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