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Solve Medicare Coverage Problem

Jun 5, 2021

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Solve Medicare Coverage Problem Jokes Times

The phone rings and the lady of the house answers, ‘Hello, Mrs. Sanders, please.’

‘Speaking.’

‘Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Laboratory. When your husband’s doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good.’

‘What do you mean?’ Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

‘Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer’s and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can’t tell which is which.’

‘That’s dreadful! Can you do the test again?’ questioned Mrs. Sanders.

‘Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests one time.’

‘Well, what am I supposed to do now?’

‘The folks at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don’t sleep with him.’

Sex Maniac Mouse

Jun 5, 2021

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One night a man heard howls coming from his basement and went down to discover a female cat being raped by a mouse.

Fascinated by what he saw, the man gained the mouse’s confidence with some cheese and then took him next door.

The mouse repeated his amazing performance by raping a German Sheppard.

The man, very excited by this, was dying to show someone his discovery. He rushed home and woke up his wife but before he could explain, she saw the mouse, screamed, and covered her head with the blanket.

“Don’t be afraid, darling,” said the man. “Wait until I tell you about this.”

“Get out of here!” cried his wife. “And take that sex maniac with you!”

Snail Eats Apple

Jun 5, 2021

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A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can’t help laughing and eventually says “Don’t you know there aren’t any apples on the tree yet?”

“Yes,” said the snail, “but there will be by the time I get up there.”

How Old is your Wife

Jun 5, 2021

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Man 1: How old is your wife?

Man 2: Approaching forty.

Man 1: From which direction?

Man 2: From every direction!

Baby Airplanes

Jun 5, 2021

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A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines fromKansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, “If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don’t big airplanes have baby airplanes?”

The mother (who couldn’t think of an answer) told her son to ask the stewardess.

So the boy went down the aisle and asked the stewardess. Thestewardess, who was very busy at the time, smiled and said, “Did your Mom tell you to ask me?”

The boy said, “yes she did.”

“Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby airplanes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your Mom explain that to you.”

Saturday Afternoon

Jun 5, 2021

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One Saturday afternoon the grasshopper, the snail, and the centipede were sitting around the grasshopper’s house drinking beer. They ran out of beer before they were ready to quit drinking, so they decided one of them should go out for more.

The snail said, “I’d go, but I’m kinda slow. Besides, grasshopper, this is your neighbourhood so you know where to go.” The grasshopper said, “I don’t mind going, but my hopping will shake up the beer and we’ll get sprayed every time we open one.”

So they decided to send the centipede and the grasshopper explained how to get to the nearest liquor store.

An hour or so passed and still the centipede hadn’t returned, so the snail and the grasshopper decided to go look for him. They got as far as the the front door and found the centipede sitting there putting on his shoes.