Before – You take my breath away
After – I feel like I’m suffocating

Before – Twice a night
After – Twice a month

Before – She says she loves the way I take control of a situation
After – She called me a controlling, manipulative, egomaniac

Before – Lucy and Ricky
After – Fred and Ethyl

Before – Saturday Night Fever
After – Monday Night Football

Before – Don’t stop
After – Don’t start

Before – Is that all your having?
After – Maybe you should have just a salad, honey

Before – Its like I’m living In a dream
After – Its like he lives In a dorm

Before – $60/doz.
After – $1.50/stem

Before – Turbo charged
After – Jump start

Before – We agree on everything
After – Doesn’t she have a mind of her own?

Before – Victoria Secret
After – Fruit of the Loom

Before – Charming and Noble
After – Chernobyl

Before – Feathers and handcuffs
After – Ball and chain

Before – Idol
After – Idle

Before – I love a woman with curves
After – I never said you were fat

Before – He’s completely lost without me
After – Why won’t he ever ask for directions?

Before – Time stood still
After – This relationship Is going nowhere

Before – Croissant and cappuccino
After – Bagel and instant

Before – You look so seductive In black
After – Your clothes are so depressing

Before – Oysters
After – Fishsticks

Before – I can hardly believe we found each other
After – I can’t believe I ended up with someone like you

Before – Passion
After – Ration

Before – Once upon a time
After – The end