A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders.
He says, “What the hell is that all about?”
The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm.
There ain’t nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other.”
The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple’s house. She rang the doorbell and stepped into the house to see her daughter-in-law standing naked by the door.
“What are you doing,” the mother-in-law asked.
“I am waiting for my husband to come home from work,” the daughter-in-law replied.
“Why are you naked,” asked the mother-in-law.
“This is my love dress,” the daughter-in-law replied.
“LOVE DRESS! You are naked,” said the mother-in-law.
“But my husband loves it when I wear this dress. It makes him happy and he makes me happy,” said the daughter-in-law. “I would appreciate your leaving now because my husband will be home any minute,” the daughter-in-law continued. Soured by all of this romantic stuff, the mother-in-law left. On the way home, she thought about the “LOVE DRESS” and got an idea. She undressed, showered, applied her best perfume, and waited by the door for her husband to come home.
Finally, the pickup truck drove up the driveway, and she took her place by the door. The father-in-law opened the door, and immediately saw his wife naked by the door.
“What are you doing,” he asked.
“This is my love dress,” the mother-in-law replied.
“Needs ironing,” he replied.
Help desk: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Help desk: OK, and, what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter a, but how do I get the circle around it.
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a ‘Curse’ he has been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says “maybe, but you will to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you.”
The old man says without hesitation “I now pronounce you man and wife.”
Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland.
Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced “One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don’t worry we have three engines left”.
Thirty minutes later, the captain announced “One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don’t worry we have two engines left”.
An hour later the captain announced “One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don’t worry we have one engine left”.
One blonde looked at the other the other blonde and said “If we lose one more engine, we’ll be up here all day”
1. Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue.
2. Press any key to continue or any other key to quit.
3. Press any key except… no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!
4. Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
5. This will end your Windows session. Do you want to play another game?
6. Windows message: “Error saving file! Format drive now?(Y/Y)”
7. This is a message from God Gates: “Rebooting the world.Please log off.”
8. To “shut down” your system, type “WIN”
9. BREAKFAST.SYS halted… Cereal port not responding.
10. COFFEE.SYS missing… Insert cup in cup holder and press any key.
11. File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
12. Bad or missing mouse. Spank the cat? (Y/N)
13. Runtime Error 6D at 417A:32CF: Incompetent User.
14. Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
15. WinErr 16547: LPT1 not found. Use backup. (PENCIL &PAPER.SYS)
16. User Error: Replace user.
17. Windows VirusScan 1.0 – “Windows found: Remove it? (Y/N)”
18. Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way
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