There is a new virus going around, called “work”. If you receive any sort of “work” at all, whether via email, internet, or simply handed to you by a colleague… DO NOT OPEN IT.
This has been circulating around our office for months and those who have been tempted to open “work” or even look at “work” have found that their social life is deleted and their brain ceases to function properly. If you do encounter “work” via email or are faced with any “work” at all, then, to purge the virus, send an email to your boss with the words “I’ve had enough!! I’m off to Desmond O’Malley’s.”
The “work” should automatically be forgotten by your brain. If you receive “work” in paper-document form, simply lift the document and drag the “work” to your garbage can, gather your belongings, and skip to Dessie’s with two friends and order three pints of Guiness. After repeating this action 14 times, you will find that “work” will no longer be of any relevance to you.
Send this message to everyone in your address book. If you do NOT have anyone in your address book, then I’m afraid the “work” virus has already corrupted your life.