Wednesday, September 23, 2020
Marriage Jokes

How To Be A Good Husband Jokes Times

He consistently spills things in the same location as to avoid making more than one stain in the carpet.

He sees to it that he doesn’t always sit in the same place on the couch, to avoid making those unsightly twin-divots.

He masters the art of halfway-communication so that he can watch TV and still answer: uh huh, oh, I see what you mean, etc. at the right time.

He is able to avoid use of the same excuse two-times-in-a-row.

He has learned that a new vacuum cleaner, iron, etc. do not make acceptable anniversary presents.

Admits with only minor prodding that watching Monday Night Football together does not constitute a “date” or family home evening (where applicable).

Has learned all of the childrens’ names so that he doesn’t have to refer to them as, “Hey, you there”.

Knows the proper time to give a sincere compliment and also the proper time to say something such as, “Its definitely an interesting dress.”

Millionaire Jokes Times

A woman was telling her friend, “It is I who made my husband a millionaire.”

“And what was he before you married him?” asked the friend.

The woman replied, “A billionaire”.

The Human Race Jokes Times

A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race appear?”

The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made..”

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.”

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, “Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?”

The mother answered, “Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.”

Silent Jokes Times

Young Actor: Dad, guess what? I’ve just got my first part in a play. I play the part of a man who’s been married for 30 years.

Father: Well, keep at it, son. Maybe one day you’ll get a speaking part.

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Marriage Counseling Jokes Times

John and Mary visit their doctor for marriage counseling. The doctor gets up and hugs Mary, and sit down. He gets up again, and hugs Mary a second time, then a third time.

He then turns to John and says, “See that, John. Mary needs that everyday!”

John Replies, “Well, that’s fine, Doctor. But I can’t bring her over here on Tuesday and Friday as I’m playing golf on these days.”

I am Not Talking to You Jokes Times

One day, this guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a drink. Then he asks for another. After a couple more drinks, the bartender gets worried.

“What’s the matter?” the bartender asks.

“My wife and I got into a fight,” explained the guy “and now she isn’t talking to me for a whole 31 days.”

The bartender thought about this for a while. “But, isn’t it a good thing that she isn’t talking to you?” asked the bartender. ”

“Yeah, except today is the last night.”

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