Monday, November 2, 2026
Tags Posts tagged with "Traffic"

Traffic

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Engineers' Car Jokes Times

Three engineers are riding down the road in a car. Suddenly, the car begins to develop trouble. It’s sputtering and it sounds like it’s going to stall.

The first engineer is a chemical engineer. He says, “It could be something in the fuel line. Lets put an additive into the gas and maybe that will take care of the problem.”

The second engineer is an electrical engineer. She says, “It could be something in the electrical system. Let’s replace the wires and the distributor cap. Maybe that will take care of the problem.”

The third engineer is a software engineer from Microsoft. He says, “It could be that we’ve too many windows open. Let’s close all the windows, turn off the car, then restart the car and open all the windows again. Maybe that will take care of the problem.”

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Car Porch Jokes Times

One day, an out-of-work man knocks on the door of a home in an upper-class neighbourhood. The lady of the house answers. “Pardon Mam, I’m out of work and looking for any odd jobs that people need to be done. I’m very handy with everything from repairs to yard work, to painting…”

“Painting?” the woman jumped in. “Oh, yes, Ma’am! I’m a very careful painter,” the man replied, his face brightening at the realisation she could provide him some work. “I’ll tell you what. My husband just bought some green paint last week to paint the porch out back with, byt we haven’t had any time. If you can do a good job, then you can paint it before he gets home and surprise him. Now, do a particularly good job and paint the trimmings white also, and I’ll pay you an extra bonus.”

“Oh yes, Ma’am, I’ll do an excellent job!” He was told the paints were also around the back in the garage. An a few hours later, the man returns to the door. “That was quick, did you do a good job?” the woman inquires. “Oh yes Ma’am, two coats! But there’s something you should know,” the man says. “That’s not a Porsche, That’s a Mercedes!”

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Remember The Days Jokes Times

A computer was something on TV
from a science fiction show of note

A window was something you hated to clean…

Ram was the cousin of a goat…

Meg was the name of my girlfriend

Gig was a job for the nights

An application was for employment

A program was a TV show

A cursor used profanity

A keyboard was a piano

Memory was something that you lost with age

A cd was a bank account

Compress was something you did to the garbage, not something you did to a file

If you unzipped anything in public, you’ be in jail for a while

Log on was adding wood to the fire

Hard drive was a long trip on the road

A mouse pad was where a mouse lived

Cut you did with a pocket knife

Paste you did with glue

A web was a spider’s home

A virus was the flu

I hear nobody’s been killed in a computer crash, but when it happens they wish they were dead

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