Thursday, December 9, 2021
Tags Posts tagged with "Bar"

Bar

Beers after Work Jokes Times

A man was approached by a co-worker at lunch who invited him out for a few beers after work. The man said that his wife would never go for it, that she doesn’t allow him to go drinking with the guys after work.

The co-worker suggested a way to overcome that problem, “When you get home tonight, sneak into the house, slide down under the sheets, gently pull down your wife’s panties, and give her oral sex.

Women love it, and believe me, she’ll never mention that you were out late with the boys.” So the man agreed to try it, and went out and enjoyed himself. Late that night, he sneaked into the house, slid down under the sheets, gently slid down his wife’s panties, and gave her oral sex.

She moaned and groaned with pleasure, but after a little while, he realized he had to take a leak, so he told her he’d be right back. He got out of bed and walked down the hall to the bathroom. When he opened the door and went in, he was very surprised to see his wife sitting on the toilet. “How did you get in here?” he asked. “Shhhhh!!!” she replied, “you’ll wake-up my mother!”

0 159
Airport Encounters Jokes Times

I was in the airport VIP lounge in route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink.

I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late.

Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman, introduced myself, and said, “Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor.”

“Yes?”

“I’m sitting right over there,” pointing to my seat at the bar, “and I’m waiting on a very important client. Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say, ‘Hi, Ray,’?”

“Sure.”

I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat.

About ten minutes later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to talk business.

A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates.

“Hi, Ray,” he said.

I replied, “Get lost Gates, I’m in a meeting.”

0 212
Bus Accident Jokes Times

There was a terrible bus accident. Unfortunately, no one survived the accident except a monkey which was on board and there were no witnesses. The police try to investigate further but they get no results. At last, they try to interrogate the monkey. The monkey seems to respond to their questions with gestures. Seeing that, they start asking the questions.

The police chief asks, “What were the people doing on the bus?” The monkey shakes his head in a condemning manner and starts dancing around; meaning the people were dancing and having fun.

The chief asks, “Yeah, but what else were they doing?”. The monkey uses his hand and takes it to his mouth as if holding a bottle.

The chief says, “Oh! They were drinking, huh??!” The chief continues, “Okay, were they doing anything else?” The monkey nods his head and moves his mouth back and forth, meaning they were talking.

The chief loses his patience, “If they were having such a great time, who was driving the stupid bus then?” The monkey cheerfully swings his arms to the sides as if grabbing a wheel.

0 144
Little Pink Dog Jokes Times

A guy walks into a bar with his dog on a leash the barman says, “Geez that’s a weird dog: he’s stumpy-legged, pink, and doesn’t have a tail, but I bet my rottweiler would beat the heck out of it.”50 bucks is laid down. Out in the yard the rottweiler gets mauled to pieces.

Another drinker says his pit bull will win but the bet is 100 bucks.

Another trip to the yard and when it’s all over there are bits of pit-bull terrier all over the place. The drinker pays up and says, “Say what breed is that anyway?”

The owner says,”Until I cut his tail off and painted it pink it was the same breed as every other alligator”

Cigarette Run Jokes Times

A man tells his wife that he’s going out to buy cigarettes. When he gets to the store he finds out it’s closed. So the guy ends up going to the bar to use the vending machine. While there, he has a few beers and begins talking to this beautiful girl. He has a few more beer and the next thing he knows he’s in this girl’s apartment and having quite a pleasurable time. The next thing he know it was 3:00 AM.

“Oh my, god, my wife is going to kill me!” he exclaimed. “Quick give me some
talcum powder!”

She gets him some and he rubs it all over his hands. When he got home his wife is up waiting for him and she’s furious.

“Where the hell have you been!”?

He says, “Well to tell you the truth, I went into a bar, had a few drinks, went home with this lovely lady and I slept with her.”

“Let me see your hands!” she demands. He shows his wife his powdery hands.

“Damn liar, you were out bowling again!”

0 1096
Missed the Train Jokes Times

Blake and his parents were drinking at the bar in a train station when they heard a whistle. The three of them rushed out of the bar onto the platform only discover that they had missed the train. The stationmaster said, “The next train is in one hour.”

The three of them went back into the bar. The parents had another drinks while Blake had a soda. About an hour later, again, they heard a whistle, rushed out and discovered again that the train is pulling away. Again, the stationmaster tell them that the next train will be in another hour.

Again, the three of them went back to the bar, but this time, Blake and his parents decide to order only soda for all of them. About an hour later, Blake with his parents, raced out onto the platform and his parents leaped on the train while the train is about to pull away. Blake was left standing on the platform and began to laugh uproariously. The stationmaster sees this and asked, “Your parents just left you here. Why are you laughing?” Blake replies, “They were suppose to see me off.”

YOU MAY LIKE

Outhouse Jokes Times

0 203
Once there was a little boy that lived in the country. They had to use an outhouse, and the little boy hated it because...
Medical Test Mix Up Jokes Times

Ashes to Ashes Jokes Times

FACEBOOK

4,844FansLike