Tuesday, July 28, 2026
Tags Posts tagged with "Afterlife"

Afterlife

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The Electric Trainset Jokes Times

A few days after Christmas, a mother working in the kitchen, was listening to her son play with his new electric train set. She heard the train stop and her son said ‘all you sons of bitches who are getting off, get the hell off now, and all of you sons of bitches who are getting on-get your asses on the train cause we’re leaving right now.’

The mother went into the living room and told her son, ‘we don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room for two hours. When you come out, you may play with your train but you must use nicer language.’

Two hours later, Her son came out of his room and resumed playing with his train.

Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, ‘All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope that you will ride with us again. For those of you just boarding, we ask that you stow all hand luggage under your seat. Remember that there is no smoking except in the club car. We hope that you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today. For those of you who are pissed off because of the two hour delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.’

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Bill in Hell Jokes Times

Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself being sized up by God….

“Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows ’95. I’m going to do something I’ve never done before. I’m going to let you decide where you want to go.”

Bill replied, “Well, what’s the difference between the two?”

God said, “I’m willing to let you visit both places briefly, to see if it will help your decision.”

“Fine, but where should I go first?”

“I’ll leave that up to you.”

“Okay then,” said Bill, “let’s try Hell first.”

So Bill went to Hell. It was a beautiful, clean, sandy beach with clear waters and lots of beautiful women running around, playing in the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining; the temperature
perfect.

He was very pleased.

“This is great!” he told God. “If this is hell, I REALLY want to see heaven!”

“Fine” said God, and off they went.

Heaven was a place high in the clouds, with angels drifting about, playing harps and singing. It was nice, but not as enticing as Hell. Bill thought for a quick minute, and rendered his decision.

“Hmmm. I think I’d prefer Hell,” he told God.

“Fine,” retorted God, “as you desire.”

So Bill Gates went to Hell.

Two weeks later, God decided to check on the late billionaire to see how he was doing in Hell. When he got there, he found Bill, shackled to a wall, screaming amongst hot flames in dark caves, being burned and
tortured by demons.

“How’s everything going?” he asked Bill.

Bill responded with his voice filled with anguish and disappointment, “This is awful! This is nothing like the Hell I visited two weeks ago! I can’t believe this is happening! What happened to that other place, with the beaches, and the beautiful women playing in the water????”

“That was the DEMO,” replied God

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