Sunday, May 19, 2024
Children Jokes

Goodbye Daddy Jokes Times

A father put his 3 year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which ended by saying:’God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma and goodbye Grandpa.’ The father asked, ‘Why did you say goodbye Grandpa?’ The little girl said, ‘I don’t know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.’

The next day grandpa died. The father thought it was a strange coincidence. A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers which went like this: ‘God bless Mommy, God Bless Daddy and goodbye Grandma.’

The next day the grandmother died. ‘Holy **** ‘ thought the father,this kid is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say: ‘God bless Mommy and goodbye Daddy.’

He practically went into shock. He couldn’t sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch and watched the clock. He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally, midnight arrived; he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said ‘I’ve never seen you work so late,what’s the matter?’

He said ‘I don’t want to talk about it; I’ve just spent the worst day of my life.’

She said, ‘You think you had a bad day, you’ll never believe what happened to me. This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!

Lost in Mall Jokes Times

A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He Approached a uniformed policeman and said, “I’ve lost my Grandpa!” The cop asked, “What’s he like?”

The little boy hesitated for a moment and then replied,

“Crown Royal whiskey and women with big tits.”

Daddy Longlegs Spider Jokes Times

A father watched his daughter playing in the garden. He smiled as he reflected on how sweet and innocent his little girl was. Suddenly she just stopped and stared at the ground. He went over to her and noticed she was looking at two spiders mating.

“Daddy, what are those two spiders doing?” she asked. “They’re mating,”her father replied.

“What do you call the spider on top, Daddy?” she asked.

“That’s a Daddy Longlegs.” Her father answered.

“So, the other one is a Mommy Longlegs?” the little girl asked.

“No,” her father replied. “Both of them are Daddy Longlegs.”

The little girl thought for a moment, then took her foot and stomped them flat.

“Well, that might be OK in California, BUT we’re not having any of that crap in Texas”

Blind Boy Jokes TImes

One night, a little blind boy’s mother said to him, “Anthony, if you pray really, REALLY hard tonight, when the sun rises tomorrow you will be able to see!”

Needless to say, Anthony prays up a storm!

Morning came and Anthony is still blind.

He starts crying and his mom rushes in. She gasps, “Anthony, what’s wrong?”

Anthony wails, “Mommy, I prayed so hard but I’m still blind!”

His Mom gently pats him on the head.

“I know, honey. April Fools!”

Taste of a Kiss Jokes Times

One day a teacher had a taste test with her students. She picked a little boy to do the first test. She blindfolded him, put a Hershey kiss in his mouth and asked, “Do you know what it is?”

“No, I don’t,” said the little boy.

“Okay, I’ll give you a clue. It’s the thing your daddy wants from your Mom before he goes to work.”

Suddenly, a little girl at the back of the room yelled, “Spit it out! It’s a piece of Ass.

YOU MAY LIKE

Airport Boarding Gate Jokes Times

0 66
At the airport for a business trip, I settled down to wait for the boarding announcement at Gate 35. Then I heard the voice on...
Extra Water Jokes Times

Vibration on a Plane Jokes Times

Indian Horse Ride Jokes Times

Enchanted Rattlesnake Jokes Times

FACEBOOK

4,844FansLike