Saturday, September 26, 2026
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Time

Immaculate Conception Jokes Times

A mother and her daughter were at a gynaecologist’s office. The mother asked the doctor to examine her daughter. “She has been having some strange symptoms and I’m worried about her,” the mother said.

The doctor examined the daughter carefully and then announced, “Madam, I believe your daughter is pregnant.”

The mother gasped, “That’s nonsense! Why, my little girl has nothing whatsoever to do with men.” She turned to the girl. “You don’t, do you, dear?”

“No, mumsy,” said the girl. “Why, you know that I have never so much as kissed a man!”

The doctor looked from mother to daughter, and back again. Then, silently he stood up and walked to the window, staring out.

He continued staring until the mother felt compelled to ask, “Doctor, is there something wrong out there?”

“No, Madam,” said the doctor. “It’s just that the last time anything like this happened, a star appeared in the East and I was looking to see if another one was going to show up.”

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Marriage Counseling Jokes Times

John and Mary visit their doctor for marriage counseling. The doctor gets up and hugs Mary, and sit down. He gets up again, and hugs Mary a second time, then a third time.

He then turns to John and says, “See that, John. Mary needs that everyday!”

John Replies, “Well, that’s fine, Doctor. But I can’t bring her over here on Tuesday and Friday as I’m playing golf on these days.”

Fourth Marriage Jokes Times

“Tomorrow I’m getting married for the fourth time,” said Joe happily.

“What happened to your first three wives?” asked his friend Jeff.

“My first wife ate poison mushrooms,” replied Joe.

“How terrible!” exclaimed Jeff. “And your second wife?”

“She ate poison mushrooms.”

“And your third ate poison mushrooms, too?” asked Jeff.

“Oh, no. She died of a broken neck.” stated Joe.

“I see, an accident.” replied Jeff.

“Not exactly,” said Joe. “She wouldn’t eat her mushrooms.”

The Angry Plumber Jokes Times

A lady was expecting the plumber. He was supposed to come at ten o’clock.

Ten o’clock came and went, no plumber. Eleven o’clock, twelve o’clock, one o’clock, no plumber.

She concluded he wasn’t coming, and went out to do some errands.

While she was out, the plumber arrived. He knocked on the door, the lady’s parrot, who was at home in a cage by the door, said, “Who is it?”

He replied, “It’s the plumber.”
He thought it was the lady who’d said, “Who is it?” and waited for her to come and let him in.

When this didn’t happen he knocked again, and again the parrot said, “Who is it?”He said, “It’s the plumber!”

He waited, and again the lady didn’t come to let him in. He knocked again, and again the parrot said, “Who is it?”

He said, “It’s the plumber!!!!!!!!” Again he waited; again she didn’t come, again he knocked; again the parrot said, “Who is it?”, “Aarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!!!” he said.

Flying into a rage, he pushed the door in and ripped it off its hinges. He suffered a heart attack and he fell dead in the doorway.

The lady came home from her errands, only to see the door ripped off its hinges and a corpse lying in the doorway.

“A dead body!” she exclaimed, “Who is it?!” The parrot said, “It’s the plumber.”

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Unlucky Nun Jokes Times

There was a guy in a bar one night that got really drunk. I mean really, really, really drunk.

When the bar closed he got up to go home. As he stumbled out the door he saw a nun walking on the sidewalk.

So he stumbled over to the nun and punched her in the face. Well the nun was really surprised but before she could do or say anything he punched her again.

This time she fell down and he stumbled over to her and kicked her in the butt.

Then he picked her up and threw her into a wall. By this time the nun was pretty weak and couldn’t move.

So then he stumbled over to her, put his face right next to hers and said. “Not very strong tonight, are you Batman?”

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