Saturday, August 22, 2026
Tags Posts tagged with "Ducks"

Ducks

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Do not Step on Ducks Jokes Times

Three women die in a car accident and go to Heaven. Saint Peter meets them at the Gates and welcomes then saying, “you can do as you please in here, just don’t step on any ducks.”

The women are puzzled buy proceed into Heaven. Looking around, they notice there are ducks everywhere.

In a matter of minutes, one of the woman steps on a duck. Saint Peter walks up to that woman with a very ugly man. Saint Peter then shackles that man and woman together and says, “for stepping on the duck, you have to spend eternity chained to this ugly man.”

The other two women are shocked buy go about their business until, sure enough, another woman steps on a duck. Immediately, Saint Peter came and shackles her with another ugly man.

The last woman tries desperately to not step on any duck. After a few months of not stepping on any ducks, Saint Peter walks up to the last woman accompanied by a stunningly handsome man.

Saint Peter then shackles the woman to this man and after a while, the woman being thrilled to be chained to such a handsome man, says, “I don’t know what I did to deserve to be shackles with such a handsome man like you.” The man replies, “I don’t know what you did lady, but I stepped on a duck.”

Three Ducks Jokes Times

A guy walks into a bar holding three ducks.

He sets them on the bar and orders a drink. After talking with the bartender for a while, the man excuses himself to use the restroom. The bartender feel a tad awkward with just himself and three ducks at the bar, so he decides to make small talk with them.

He asks the first duck, “What’s your name?”

“Huey,” replies the duck.

“So, how’s your day been?”

“Oh, I’ve had a great day,” replies Huey.

“I’ve been in and out of puddles all day.”

The bartender asks the second duck, “What’s your name?”

“Duey,” replies the duck.

“So, how’s your day been?”

“Oh, I’ve had a great day,” replies Duey.

“I’ve been in and out of puddles all day.”

The witty bartender says to the third duck, “So I guess your name is Louie?”

The duck replies, “No, I’m Puddles.”

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What is in the Bag Jokes Times

One day Adam and Eve looked up and saw God standing there holding a bag.

“Hi, God. What’s in the bag?” asked Eve.

“These are a couple of things that I have left over from creation.”God rummages around in the bag a moment. “Who wants to be able to pee standing up?”

Adam immediately puts his hand up in the air, waving frantically. “Me! Me! Me! Oh, oh, PLEASE, God, let me have it! Just think of how much more work I could get done in the fields if I could pee standing up! And it would help SO MUCH when I’m out hunting! Oh, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE let me have it!”

“Well, OK, here. Now, let’s see what else we have.” God rummages about a bit more in the bag. “Ah, right. Multiple orgasms.”

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