John and Mary visit their doctor for marriage counseling. The doctor gets up and hugs Mary, and sit down. He gets up again, and hugs Mary a second time, then a third time.
He then turns to John and says, “See that, John. Mary needs that everyday!”
John Replies, “Well, that’s fine, Doctor. But I can’t bring her over here on Tuesday and Friday as I’m playing golf on these days.”
A woman with toothache went to the dentist. Her tooth was beyond savage and need to be extracted. Patient: Doctor, I am very nervous. You know, this is my first extraction. Young dentist: Don’t worry, it’s my first extraction too.
One afternoon while doing some work in the garden I noticed my dog dragging something under the fence. Upon inspection, to my dismay, I realized it was the next door neighbor’s daughter’s rabbit. For years I Had watch her come home from school and head straight out to its cage, free it and play with it in the garden. I knew today would be no different and fearing for our dog, I had to think fast.
The rabbit was quite dirty, as if it had put up quite a struggle, so I washed it off with the hose, combed it with the dog brush and blew it dry with the leaf blower. Upon Finishing its grooming, I jumped the fence and replaced it back in its cage hoping its death would be written off as “natural causes”.Within the hour, the neighbour’s car pulled in and out popped the little girl, and as usual she headed straight for the cage. Only thistime she stopped about six feet away andscreamed “DDDDDAAAADDDDDDDYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Her father, panic stricken, stood looking at the cage. Being the good neighbour that I am, I Rushed to fence and asked if there was anythingI could do.
Her father less than calmly blurted, “What kind of sick individual would dig up a little girl’s dead rabbit and put it back in it’s cage?”
When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a telephone pole, several bystander ran over to help the driver.
A woman was the first to reach the victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her back and said, “Step aside lady/ I’ve taken a course in first aid.”
The woman watched him for a few minutes, then tapped his shoulder and said, “Pardon me, but when you get to the part about calling a doctor, I’m right here.”
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