Monday, January 27, 2020
Tags Posts tagged with "Traffic"

Traffic

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Communicate Breakdown Jokes Times

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, and asked, “What are the grounds for your divorce?” She replied, “About four acres and a nice home in the middle of the property with a stream running by.”

“No,” he said, “I mean what is the foundation of this case?” “It is made of concrete, brick and motar,” she responded. “I mean,” he continued, “What are your relations like?” “I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband’s parents.” She replied.

He said, “Do you have a real grudge?” “No,” she replied, “We have a two-car carport and never really need one.” “Please,” he tried again, “is there any infidelity in your marriage?” “Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don’t necessarily like the music, but the answer to your question is yes.”

“Ma’am, does your husband ever beat you?” “Yes,” she responded, “about twice a week he gets up earlier than I do.” Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, “Lady, why do you want a divorce?”

“Oh, I don’t want a divorce,” she replied. “I’ve never wanted a divorce. My husband does. He said he can’t communicate with me!”

Bitter Men Say Jokes Times

Bitter men say the cutest things.

I married Miss Right. I just didn’t know her first name was Always.

It’s not true that married men live longer than single men. It only
seems longer.

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was nearly impossible.

A man complaining to a friend: “I had it all – money, a beautiful
house,a big car, the love of a beautiful woman … then … pow! …
it was all gone!” “What happened?” asked the friend. “Awww, my wife
found out.”

Wife: Let’s go out and have some fun tonight.
Husband: Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway
light on.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street
bald and still think they are beautiful.

0 441
Barbie Doll Jokes Times

A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter’s birthday and he hadn’t bought her a present. He quickly drove to the mall and ran to the toy store.

At the store, the man ask the store manager. “How much is that new Barbie in the window?” The manager replied, “Which one? We have Barbie does to the gym for $19.95. Barbie goes shopping for $19.95. Barbie goes to the beach for $19.95. Barbie goes to the club for $19.95. And Divorced Barbie for $399.95.

After hearing this, the man ask the store manager, “Why is Divorced Barbie $399.95 when all the rest of the Barbie are only $19.95. The store manager replied, “Simple, Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s House, Ken’s Car, Ken’s Boat, Ken’s Dog, Ken’s Cat and Ken’s Furnitures.”

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The Electric Trainset Jokes Times

A few days after Christmas, a mother working in the kitchen, was listening to her son play with his new electric train set. She heard the train stop and her son said ‘all you sons of bitches who are getting off, get the hell off now, and all of you sons of bitches who are getting on-get your asses on the train cause we’re leaving right now.’

The mother went into the living room and told her son, ‘we don’t use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room for two hours. When you come out, you may play with your train but you must use nicer language.’

Two hours later, Her son came out of his room and resumed playing with his train.

Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, ‘All passengers who are disembarking the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope that you will ride with us again. For those of you just boarding, we ask that you stow all hand luggage under your seat. Remember that there is no smoking except in the club car. We hope that you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today. For those of you who are pissed off because of the two hour delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen.’

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Job Benefits Package Jokes Times

The young accounting graduate, fresh out of uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job. The prospective employer asked him what starting salary he was looking for. “Oh, around $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” Graduate replied.

“Well, how does this sound? Five weeks annual leave, 22.5% superannuation, paid expenses to overseas conferences every year, home telephone reimbursed and a company car replaced every 20,000 kilometers, say a Mercedes convertible.” Employer offered.

The graduate sat up straight and tried not to look excited. “Wow. Are you kidding?” “Yeah. But you started it.”

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