The assistant asked the lady if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.
“Six please” she said, “I could never eat twelve!”
Six or Twelve
I’ve Got One of These
A little boy and a little girl are playing. The little boy pulls down his shorts and says, “*I* have one of these and you *don’t*.” The little girl starts crying and crying and runs home to her mother. The next day the boy and the girl are playing together again. Once Again the boy points to his private parts and says, “*I* have one of these and you *don’t*.” But the little girl just keeps on playing.
“How come you’re not crying today,” asks the boy.
“My mother told me,” says the little girl, pulling up her dress, “that with one of *these*, I can get as many of *those* as I want.”
Helpline – Computer
Helpdesk: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one…
Ouch, My Balls Hurts
A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom.
A few minutes later, a loud, blood-curdling scream is heard coming from the bathroom.
A few minutes after that, another loud scream echo’s through the bar.
The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate what the drunk is screaming about.
The bartender yells, “What’s all the screaming about in there? You’re scaring my customers!”
The drunk responds, “I’m just sitting here on the toilet and every time I try to flush, something comes up and squeezes the hell out of my balls.”
The bartender opens the door and looks in. You idiot! You’re sitting on the mop bucket!
Extras Extras Read All About It
A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of paper, yelling, “Read all about it. Fifty people swindled! Fifty people swindled!”
Curious, a man walked over, bought a paper, and checked the front page.
Finding nothing, the man said, “There’s nothing in here about fifty people being swindled.”
The newsboy ignored him and went on, yelling out, “Read all about it, Fifty-one people swindled! Fifty-one people swindled!”
I’m Afraid Not
A string walks into a bar and ask the waiter for a beer.
The waiter says, “I am sorry but we can’t serve strings here.
“The string goes home, ties himself in a knot, and messes up his hair.
He goes back to the bar about an hour later, sits down and says, “Waiter, give me a beer.”
The waiter says, “Hey aren’t you the string who came in here earlier. “The string replies, “No, I’m a fraid knot.”
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