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Ducks

I Like How You Think

Jun 5, 2021

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A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?”

Johnny says, “None.” The teacher asks, “Why?” Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.” The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.”

Johnny then asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?”

The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.”

Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”

Where is Harry?

Jun 5, 2021

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A group of friends who went deer hunting separated into pairs for the day. That night, one hunter returned alone, staggering under a hugh buck.

“Where’s Harry?”, asked another hunter.

“He fainted a couple miles up the trail,” Harry’s partner answered. “You left him lying there alone and carried the deer back?”

“It was a tough decision,” said the hunter. “But I figured no one is going to steal Harry.”

Duck Shooting

Jun 5, 2021

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Five doctors went duck hunting one day. Included in the group were a GP, a pediatrician, a psychiatrist, a surgeon and a pathologist. After a time, a bird came winging overhead. The first to react was the GP who raised his shotgun, but then hesitated.

“I’m not quite sure it’s a duck,” he said, “I think that I will have to get a second opinion.” And of course by that time, the bird was long gone.

Another bird appeared in the sky thereafter. This time, the pediatrician drew a bead on it. He too, however, was unsure if it was really a duck in his sights and besides, it might have babies. “I’ll have to do some more investigations,” he muttered, as the creature made good its escape.

Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist. Shotgun shouldered, he was more certain of his intended prey’s identity.

“Now, I know it’s a duck, but does it know it’s a duck?” The fortunate bird disappeared while the fellow wrestled with this dilemma.

Finally, a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon’s weapon pointed skywards. BOOM!! The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him.

“Go see if that was a duck, will you?”