Thursday, May 1, 2025
Tags Posts tagged with "Dinner"

Dinner

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Tired Mouse Jokes Times

A mouse and a lion walk were in a bar, drinking a few beers when a giraffe walked in.

“Get a load of her” said the mouse, “what a babe!”

“Well, why not try your luck?” replied the lion.

So the mouse went over to the giraffe and started talking to her. Within five minutes they’re out the door and into the night.

The next day, the lion was drinking in the bar, when the mouse staggered in.

The mouse is completely worn out, and can hardly hold himself up.

The lion helped his pal up on to a stool, poured a drink down his throat and said, “What the hell happened to you? I saw you leave with the giraffe, what happened after that? Was she all right?”

The mouse replied, “Yeah, she was really something, we went out to dinner, had a couple of glasses of wine, and she invited me back to her place to spend the night. And oh, man! I’ve never had a night like it!”

“But how come you look like you’re so exhausted?” asked the lion.

“Well” said the mouse, “between the kissing and the screwing, I must have run a thousand miles!”

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Mother Always Knows Jokes Times

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn’t help noticing how beautiful John’s roommate Julie was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom’s thoughts, John volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates.”

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I’ve been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?” John said, “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll write her a letter just to be sure.”

So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mother,

I’m not saying you ‘did’ take a gravy ladle from my house, and I’m not saying you ‘did not’ take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner…..love, John

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read:
Dear Son,

I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Julie, and I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now………….Love, Mom

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Tommy and Math Jokes Times

Little Tommy was doing very badly in math. His parents had tried everything; tutors, flash cards, special learning centers, in short, everything they could think of. Finally in a last ditch effort, they took Tommy down and enrolled him in the local Catholic School.

After the first day, little Tommy comes home with a very serious look on his face. He doesn’t kiss his mother hello. Instead, he goes straight to his room and starts studying. Books & papers are spread out all over the room and little Tommy is hard at work. His mother is amazed. She calls him down to dinner and to her shock, the minute he is done he marches back to his room without a word and in no time he is back hitting the books as hard as before.

This goes on for sometime, day after day while the mother tries to understand what made all the difference. Finally, little Tommy brings home his report card. He quietly lays it on the table and goes up to his room and hits the books.

With great trepidation, his Mom looks at it and to her surprise; little Tommy got an A in math. She can no longer hold her curiosity. She goes to his room and says: “Son, what was it? Was it the nuns?” Little Tommy looks at her and shakes his head. “Well then,” she replies, “was it the books, the discipline, the structure, the uniforms, WHAT was it?”

Little Tommy looks at her and says, “Well, on the first day of school, when I saw that guy nailed to the plus sign, I knew they weren’t fooling around.”

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Great Expectations Jokes Times

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured Princess happened upon a frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shore of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the Princess’ lap and said: “Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome Prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.

One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back in the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.”

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on a repast of lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: “I don’t think so…”

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