A teenage girl comes home from school and asks her mother. “Is it true what Rita just told me? Babies come out of the same place where boys put their penises?”
“Yes, dear,” replies her mother, pleased that the subject had finally come up and she wouldn’t have to explain it to her daughter.
“But then when I have a baby,” the teenager pondered, “won’t it knock all my teeth out?”
A young woman felt pain in her teeth and went to a dentist. After checking her teeth, the dentist told her that there is a tooth that has decayed and has beyond decayed and need to be extracted.
The young woman then ask how much will the extraction be. The dentist replied the extraction will cost her $100. The young woman felt it is too expensive and said, $100 for just this few minutes of work? The dentist replies, “Well, I can extract it very slowly over the time frame you like if you want.”
A dentist was getting ready to clean an elderly lady’s teeth.
He noticed that she was a little nervous, so he began to tell her a story as he was putting on his surgical gloves…
“Do you know how they make these rubber gloves?”
She said, “No?”
“Well,” he spoofed, “down in Mexico they have this big building set up with a large tank of latex, and the workers are all picked according to hand size.
Each individual walks up to the tank, dips their hands in, and then walk around for a bit while the latex sets up and dries right onto their hands!
Then they peel off the gloves and throw them into the big ‘Finished Goods Crate’ and start the process all over again.”
And she didn’t laugh a bit!!! Five minutes later, during the procedure, he had to stop cleaning her teeth because she burst out laughing.
The old woman blushed and exclaimed, “I just suddenly thought about how they must make Laytex Condoms
The beautiful young lady in the dentist’s chair was nervously wringing her hands.
” Oh dear,” she said, “I’m so nervous. It’s so frightening. I think I’d rather have a baby than my teeth seen to.”
“Well,” replied the dentist,” which would you like the most just let me know and I’ll adjust the chair and my clothes accordingly.”
A woman with toothache went to the dentist. Her tooth was beyond savage and need to be extracted. Patient: Doctor, I am very nervous. You know, this is my first extraction. Young dentist: Don’t worry, it’s my first extraction too.
We got off the Titanic first.
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we crash our computers.
Our boy friend’s clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous – guys look like complete idiots in ours.
We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.
We can cry and get off speeding fines.
We’ve never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.
Taxis stop for us.
Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.
We don’t look like a frog in a blender when dancing.
Free drinks. Free dinners. Free movies (you get the picture).
We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we’re gay.
We can hug our friends without wondering if WE are gay.
We know The Truth about whether size matters.
New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
If we have sex with someone and don’t call them the next day, we’re not the devil.
If we’re not making enough money we can blame the glass ceiling.
Nothing crucial can be cut off with one clean sweep (Ouch)
It’s possible to live our whole lives without taking a group shower.
No fashion faux pas we make could rival The Speedo.
We don’t have to fart to amuse ourselves.
If we cheat on our spouse, people assume it’s because we’re being emotionally neglected.
If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
We can congratulate our teammate without ever touching her butt.
If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it.
We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there.
If we’re dumb, some people will still find it cute.
We don’t have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to socially fit in.
We have the ability to dress ourselves – and coordinate.
We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked. (Weeeeeelllll…..that depends!)
Our friends won’t think we’re weird if we ask whether there’s spinach in our teeth.
There are times when chocolate really can solve your problems.
Gay waiters don’t make us uncomfortable.
We’ll never regret piercing our ears.
We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark.
When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it’s pathetic.
We’ll never discover we’ve been dumped by a Wonderbra.
If we marry someone 20 years younger, we’re aware that we look like an idiot.
