The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.'”
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher; …she’s dead.”
A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing “Love” stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them.
His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he is doing. The man says “I’m sending out 1,000 Valentine cards with ending signed, ‘Guess who?'”
“But why?” asks the man.
“I’m a divorce lawyer,” the man replies.
Earlier this week, a Microsoft security guard caught two non-Microsoft employees playing volleyball on our campus volleyball court and asked them to leave the premises.
When asked by a fellow employee how he knew that the two were not Microsoft employees, the guard replied: “They had tans.”
Four life-long friends, a doctor, lawyer, professor and a businessman, belonging to the same exclusive club had made a pact. When anyone of them dies, they agreed the others will lay $5,000 each inside his coffin so he’ll have some spending money in the after life.
Well, one day the professor passes away. At his funeral, the three friends took turns going up to his coffin and paying their last respects.
The doctor was first, laying 50 $100 bills inside the casket. Next was the businessman, tearfully placing his $5,000 cash next to the deceased friend.
Then the lawyer approached the coffin, wrote out a cheque for $15,000, laid it in the casket and picked up the $10,000 in cash!
Before you judge someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.
That way, when you judge them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
Prev
