Saturday, December 6, 2025
Party Jokes

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Unbelievable Jokes Times

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink.

“Why, of course,” comes the reply.

The first man then asks,”Where are you from?”

“I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man.

The first man responds: “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s have another round to Ireland.”

“Of course,” says the second.

Curious the first asks: “Where in Ireland?”

“Dublin,” comes the reply.

“I can’t believe it, Me too! Lets have another round of drinks to Dublin.”

“Of course”

The second man can’t help himself so he asks,”What school did you go too?”

“Saint Mary’s”, replies the first man. “I graduated in ’62”

“This is becoming unbelievable!!!” They say in union.

About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar. “What’s up?” he asks the bartender.

“Nothing much,” replied the bartender. “The O’Malley twins are drunk again.”

Man falling off his stool in a bar Jokes Times

A man is in a bar and falling off his stool every couple of minutes.

He is obviously drunk. So the bartender says to another man in the bar: “Why don’t you be a good Samaritan and take him home.”

The man takes the drunk out the door and to his car and he stumbles at least ten times.

They drive along and the drunk points out his house to the man. He stops the car and the drunk stumbles up the steps to his house with the man. The drunk’s wife greets them at the door: “Why thank you for bringing him home for me, but where’s his wheel chair?”

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Oh no, not that Nun again Jokes Times

John was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally feeling good about himself, when a nun suddenly appears at his table and starts decrying the evils of drink.

“You should be ashamed of yourself young man! Drinking is a Sin! Alcohol is the blood of the devil!”

Now John gets pretty annoyed about this, and goes on the offensive. “How do you know this, Sister?”

“My Mother Superior told me so.”

“But have you ever had a drink yourself? How can you be sure that what you are saying is right?”

“Don’t be ridiculous–of course I have never taken alcohol myself”

“Then let me buy you a drink – if you still believe afterwards that it is evil I will give up drink for life”

“How could I, a Nun, sit outside this public house drinking?!”

“I’ll get the barman to put it in a teacup for you, then no one will ever know.

“The Nun reluctantly agrees, so John goes inside to the bar. “Another pint for me, and a triple vodka on the rocks”, then he lowers his voice and says to the barman “and could you put the vodka in a teacup?”

“Oh no! It’s not that Nun again is it?”

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Three vampires in a Bar Jokes Times

Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down.

The first vampire says, “I’d like a pint of blood.” The second vampire says, “I’d like a pint of blood, too.” Then the third vampire says, “I’d like a pint a plasma.”

Then the bartender says, “OK, so let me get this straight, you want two bloods and a blood light?”

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Two Guys in a Bar Jokes Times

Two guys were in a bar, and they were both watching the television when the news came on.

It showed a guy on a bridge who was about to jump, obviously suicidal. “I’ll bet you $10 he’ll jump,” said the first guy. “Bet you $10 he won’t,” said the second guy.

Then, the guy on the television closed his eyes and threw himself off the bridge. The second guy hands the first guy the money.

“I can’t take your money,” said the first guy. “I cheated you. The same story was on the five o’clock news.”

“No, no. Take it,” said the second guy. “I saw the five o’clock news too. I just didn’t think the guy was dumb enough to jump again!”

Birthday Party Jokes Times

This lady is giving a party for her granddaughter, and has gone all out. She had a caterer, band, and a hired clown.

Just before the party starts, two bums show up looking for a handout. Feeling sorry for the bums, the woman tells them that they can get a meal if they will chop some wood out back. Gratefully, they head to the rear of the house.

Guests arrive, and all is going well with the children having a wonderful time. But the clown has not shown up and she unsuccessfully tries to entertain the children herself. She happens to look out the window and sees one of the bums doing cartwheels across the lawn.

She watches in awe as he swings from tree branches, does midair flips, and leaps high in the air. She speaks to the other bum and says, “What you friend is doing is absolutely marvelous. I have never seen such a thing.

Do you think your friend would consider repeating this performance for the children at the party? I would pay him $50!”

The bum replies, “Well, I dunno. HEY WILLIE! FOR $50. WOULD YOU CHOP OFF ANOTHER TOE?”

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