Young Actor: Dad, guess what? I’ve just got my first part in a play. I play the part of a man who’s been married for 30 years.
Father: Well, keep at it, son. Maybe one day you’ll get a speaking part.
Silent
The Gift
On the first day of school, the children brought gifts for their teacher. The florist’s son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers. The candy-store owner’s daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy. Then the liquor-store owner’s son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.
“Is it wine?” she guessed.
“No,” the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked, ” Champagne ?
“No,” said the little boy… “It’s a puppy!”
Excellent Essay
A boy was giving a homework to write an assay. However, he got his mum to help in write his essay. Few days later, after checking on all the students’ essays.
The teacher said to him, “That’s an excellent essay for someone your age”. The boy replied, “How about for someone my Mum’s age, Miss?”
Lonely Frog
A lonely frog telephoned the Psychic Hotline and asked what his future holds.
His Personal Psychic Advisor tells him: “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”
The frog is thrilled, “This is great!
“Will I meet her at a party?” he croaks.
“No,” says the psychic, “in biology class.”
Happy Butt
It was this little girl’s first day of school and the teacher asked her what her name was and she replied, “Happy Butt.” The teacher said,”Honey I don’t think that’s your name you need to go to the principal’s office and get this straightened out.” So she went to the principal’s office and he asked, “What’s your name?” And the little girl said, “Happy Butt.”
The principal called the girl’s mother to get this straightened out once and for all. After Getting off the phone he looked at the little girl and said, “Honey, your name’s is Gladys, not Happy Butt.”
The girl then exclaimed, “Glad Ass, Happy Butt” what’s the difference?
Indian Chosen Name
A young Indian boy came back to the reservation for a family visit after his first year at college. When his dad asked him about his first year at school, he said: I’m having trouble with people making fun of me, especially my Indian name. How did you come to give your children such odd names”?
His father said: “When your brother was born, I looked out the teepee and I saw an eagle flying so I named him Little Eagle and when your sister was born, I looked out the teepee and saw a deer grazing, so I named her spotted fawn. Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking”?
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