Newspaper Ads
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”.
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
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Give Me The Bill
A drunk walks into a bar and says to the bartender (with a drunken slur),
"Bartender, buy everyone in the house a drink, pour yourself...
Th next DAY! The respondents must have his been neighbors! 🙂