A down and up musician was playing his harmonica in the middle of a busy shopping mall. Striding over, a policeman asked, “May I please see your permit?”
“I don’t have one,” confessed the musician. “In that case, you’ll have to accompany me.” “Splendid!” exclaimed the musician. “What shall we sing?”
“Brussels police department, how may I assist you?”
“Uh.. yes.. I just got hit in the face with a cream pie.”
“Okay, sir. Have you called the Brussels police department before?”
“No”
“Well, let me get a little information about you for our records.
Your name?”
“Bill Gates”
“Country?”
“USA”
“Native language?”
“English”
“Okay, sir. Your police department ID number is BP31415927. Please
use this number the next time you call. Now, you say you were hit in
the face with a pie?”
“Yes, I was just about to meet with the Belgian Prime Minister. One
person distracted me while another hit me with a cream pie.”
“We’ve had other customers report that they were hit in the face with
a custard pie. Are you sure it was a cream pie?”
“Well, I have white stuff all over my face and I don’t see any
custard, so I really don’t think it was a custard pie.”
“Have you visited the Prime Minister before?”
“Yes”
“Were you hit in the face with a pie then?”
“No”
“Hmm… have you visited any other Prime Ministers in the past month?”
“Yes”
“Any pies then?”
“No”
“Okay, well.. let’s try something. Go outside the building and come
in again. I’ll wait.”
“Just a minute..” “Okay, I’m back.”
“Did you get hit by another pie?”
“Of course not”
“Well sir, I don’t know what could have caused the first pie, but it
looks like things are working fine now. I’ll make a note of the
problem, though. If it happens again, please note the exact details
of the situation and call us again. Thank you for calling the
Brussels Police Department. “
The day after a man lost his wife in a scuba diving accident, he was greeted by two grim-faced policemen at his door.
“We’re sorry to call on you at this hour, Mr. Wilkens, but we have some information about your wife.”
“Well, tell me!” the man said. The policeman said, “We have some bad news, some good news and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?”
Fearing the worse, Mr. Wilkens said, “Give me the bad news first.”
So the policeman said, “I’m sorry to tell you sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in San Francisco Bay.”
“Oh my god!,” said Mr. Wilkens, overcome by emotion. Then, remembering what the policeman had said, he asked, “What’s the good news?”
“Well,” said the policeman, “When we pulled her up she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen good size Dungeoness crabs on her.”
“If that’s the good news than what’s the great news?!”, Mr. Wilkens demanded.
The policeman said, “We’re going to pull her up again tomorrow morning.”
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