A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
Worries About the Future
Crossing the River
One day three men were walking along and came upon a raging, violent river. They needed to get to the other side, but had no way of crossing the river.
The first man prayed to God saying, “Please God, give me the strength, courage, and ability to cross this river.” Poof! God gave him big arms and strong legs, and he was able to swim across the river in about two hours.
Seeing this, the second man prayed to God saying, “Please God, give me the strength, courage, and ability to cross this river.” Poof! God gave him a rowboat and he was able to row across the river in about three hours.
The third man had seen how this worked out for the other two, so he also prayed to God saying, “Please God, give me the strength, courage, and ability to cross this river.” And poof! God turned him into a woman and he walked across the bridge.
Too Scared To Sleep
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her small boy into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, “Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?”
The mother smiled. “I can’t dear,” she said. ‘I have to sleep in Daddy’s room.”
The little boy replied with a shaking voice, “The big sissy.”
Computer Women
A .. HARD-DISK Woman: She remembers everything you say and do, FOREVER.!!!
B… WINDOWS Woman: Everyone knows that she can’t do anything right, but you can’t live without her.
C… EXCEL Woman: They say she can do a lot of things but you mostly use her for only four of your basic needs.
D… SCREENSAVER Woman: She is good for nothing functional, but at least she is exciting, colourful, and lots of fun!
E… INTERNET Woman: Difficult to access and hard to keep running.!!!
F… SERVER Woman: Claims to be available to you, but Always busy when you need her.
G… MULTIMEDIA Woman: She has a way of making horrible things look very beautiful.
H… CD-ROM Woman: She always has you on the move, going faster and faster.!!!
I… E-MAIL Woman: Out of Every ten things she says, eight are plain nonsense.
J… VIRUS Woman: Also known as “WIFE”; when you are least expecting her, she shows up, installs herself, and starts gobbling up all your resources. If you try to uninstall her, you will lose almost every thing. If you don’t try to uninstall her, you will still have nothing.
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