Thirsty Snake

Jun 3, 2021

0 161

Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realised he had forgotten to bring any bait.

Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat and went about his fishing.

An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pantleg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth…

The Human Race

Jun 3, 2021

0 272

A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race appear?”

The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so was all mankind made..”

Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.. The father answered, “Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.”

The confused girl returned to her mother and said, “Mom, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?”

The mother answered, “Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family and your father told you about his.”

Where is my Parakeet

Jun 3, 2021

0 158

A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he’d lost his cigarettes.

In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. “No sense pulling up the entire floor for one pack of smokes,” he said to himself.

He proceeded to get out his hammer and flattened the hump. As he was cleaning up, the lady came in. “Here,” she said, handling him his pack of cigarettes. “I found them in the hallway.”

“Now,” she said, “if only I could find my parakeet.”

Fishing License

Jun 3, 2021

0 248

After a day fishing on Lake Michigan, a fisherman is walking from the pier carrying two brown trout in a bucket. He is approached by a Conservation Officer who asks him for his fishing license.

The fisherman says to the warden, “I was not fishing and I did not catch these browns, they are my pets. Every day I come down to the water and dump these fish into the water and take them for a walk to the end of the pier and back. When I’m ready to go I whistle and they jump back into the bucket and we go home. The officer not believing him, reminds him that it is illegal to fish without a license.

The fisherman turns to the warden and says, “If you don’t believe me then watch,” as he throws the trout back into the water.

The warden says, “Now whistle to your fish and show me that they will jump out of the water and into the bucket.”

The fisherman turns to the officer and says, “What fish?”

Not a Good Dog

Jun 3, 2021

0 581

A blind man was out walking with his seeing eye dog when suddenly the animal paused and wet the man’s leg. Bending down, the blind man stretched out his hand and patted the dog’s head.

Having watched what happened, a passerby said, “Say, why are you patting him? That dog just peed on your leg!”

“I know,” said the blind man, “but I gotta find his head before I can kick his butt!”

Look at That

Jun 3, 2021

0 211

Two person were walking down the road and one of them said “Look at that dog with one eye!”. The next one cover one of the eyes and goes, “Where? Where?”