Saturday, November 16, 2019
Tags Posts tagged with "Beach"

Beach

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Baby Camel Jokes Times

A mother and a baby camel were talking one day when the baby camel asked, “Mom, why do we have these huge three-toed feet?”

The mother replied, “Well son, when we trek across the desert, our toes will help us stay on top of the soft sand.”

Two minutes later the young camel asked, “Mom, why do we have these long eyelashes?”

They are there to keep the sand out of our eyes on the trips through the desert,” the mother said.

“Mom, why have we got these great big humps on our back?”

“They are there to help us store water for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without drinking for long periods of time.”

“So we have huge feet to stop us from sinking, long eyelashes to keep the sand out of our eyes, and these humps to store water.”

“Yes dear,” said the mother.

“So why are we in the San Diego Zoo?”

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Barbie Doll Jokes Times

A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter’s birthday and he hadn’t bought her a present. He quickly drove to the mall and ran to the toy store.

At the store, the man ask the store manager. “How much is that new Barbie in the window?” The manager replied, “Which one? We have Barbie does to the gym for $19.95. Barbie goes shopping for $19.95. Barbie goes to the beach for $19.95. Barbie goes to the club for $19.95. And Divorced Barbie for $399.95.

After hearing this, the man ask the store manager, “Why is Divorced Barbie $399.95 when all the rest of the Barbie are only $19.95. The store manager replied, “Simple, Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s House, Ken’s Car, Ken’s Boat, Ken’s Dog, Ken’s Cat and Ken’s Furnitures.”

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Smuggling Jokes Times

While crossing the US-Mexico border on his bicycle, a man was stopped by the guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. “What’s in the sacks?”, asked the guard. “Sand,” said the cyclist. The guard then tell the cyclist to remove them so they could check the sacks.

The cyclist did as he was told and emptied the sacks. Only sand was pour out proving the cyclist was not lying. He then reload the sacks, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border.

One week later, the same thing happen. Again, the guard demanded to check the two sacks, which again contained nothing but sands. This went on every week for a year, until one day, the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear.

Some time later, the guard happen to meet the cyclist downtown. The guard said. “Say friend, you sure had us crazy, we knew you were smuggling something across the border. I promise you I won’t say a word, but can you tell me what is it you were smuggling?” The cyclist replied. “Bicycles!”

Out Gathering Snails Jokes Times

A wife and her husband were having a dinner party for all the major status figures in Rome, Italy. The wife was very excited about this and wanted everything to be perfect. At the very last minute, she realized that she didn’t have any snails for this dinner party, so she asked her husband to run down to the beach with the bucket she was handing him to gather some snails.

Very grudgingly he agreed. He took the bucket, walked out the door, down the steps, and out to the beach. As he was collecting the snails, he noticed a beautiful woman strolling alongside the water just a little further down the beach. He kept thinking to himself “Wouldn’t it be great if she would even just come down and talk to me.”

He went back to gathering the snails. All of a sudden he looked up, and the beautiful woman was standing right over him. They got to talking, and she invited him back to her place. They were at her apartment a ways down the beach, and they started messing around. It got so hot and heavy, than he was exhausted afterwards and passed out there.

At seven o’clock the next morning he woke up and exclaimed, “Oh no!!! My wife’s dinner party!!!” He gathered all his clothes, put them on real fast, grabbed his bucket, and ran out the door. He ran down the beach all the way to his apartment.

He ran up the stairs of his apartment. He was in such a hurry that when he got to the top of the stairs, he dropped the bucket of snails.

There were snails all down the stairs. The door opened just then, with a very angry wife standing in the door way wondering where he’s been all this time. He looked at the snails all down the steps, then he looked at her, then back at the snails and said: “Come on guys, we’re almost there!”

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Genie Lamp along a Beach Jokes Times

A man walking along a beach finds a lamp, picks it up, rubs it and this genie pops out. The genie says, “For releasing I shall grant you one wish!”

The man thinks for a minute, and says, “I want you to build a expressway to Hawaii. I’m scare of flying and tend to get seasick.” The Genie replies, “My friend, do you realize how hard it will take to do that? First of all, there will be a lot of material involved. In addition, there would need to have a lot of rest stops and petrol stations. Also, it will interfere with the shipping lands. I’m sorry, but I think it is impossible. Please choose another wish!”

The man thinks again for another minute and says, “I want to be able to understand all women.” The genie pauses for a moment and says, “So, for the expressway, do you want it in two lanes or four? And how many rest stops and petrol station do you want?”

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Penguins in the Back Seat Jokes Times

A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up. While doing this the clerk spots two penguins sitting on the back seat of the car. He asks the driver, “What’s up with the penguins in the back
seat?”

The man in the car says, “I found them. I asked myself what to do with them but, I haven’t a clue.”

The clerk ponders a bit then says, “You should take them to the zoo.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” says the man in the car and drives away.

The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station. The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.

“Hey, they’re still here! I thought you were going to take them to the zoo!”

“Oh, I did,” says the driver, “and we had a swell time. Today I’m taking them to the beach.”

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