Thursday, November 23, 2017
School Jokes

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Blind Kids Jokes Times

A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school’s soccer team to an “away game”. They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice in a nearby pasture.

The teacher is sitting in a nearby diner, explaining to another patron how it is that blind kids can play soccer. “We made a special ball, with a bell in it, so the kids can keep track of where the ball is and what it’s doing by listening for it. They’re pretty good at it too.” “Very clever!” remarks the other patron.

Just then they are interrupted as another patron, who is looking out the window, says, “Hey! Are you the guy with those damn blind kids from the bus?” “Yes,” says the teacher, stung by the way “his” kids are being refered to, “what about it?

You got something against blind kids?” “Nothing, ordinarily,” says the guy, still scowling out the window, “but you better get them rounded up quick! They’re kicking the hell out of my best milk cow!”

I Need A Drink Jokes Times Jokes Times
  1. You are different and that’s bad.
  2. Pop goes the hamster…… and other great microwave games.
  3. What is that dog doing to that other dog?
  4. The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins and the Vice Squad.
  5. Barbar meets the taxidermist.
  6. Testing home made parachutes using household pets.
  7. Garfield gets feline leukemia.
  8. The Kids’ Guide to hitchhiking.
  9. The pop-up book of human anatomy.
  10. Things rich kids have, but you never shall.
  11. The Care Bears maul some campers and are shot dead.
  12. The boy who died from eating all his vegetables.
  13. Controlling the Playground: Respect through fear.
  14. You were an accident.
  15. Some Kittens can fly!
  16. Daddy drinks because you cry.
  17. Curious George and the high voltage fence.
  18. How to become the dominant military power in your primary school.
  19. Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Point become friends.
  20. Start an estate agency with the change from your mums purse.

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Remarkable Daughter Jokes Times

“Your daughter’s only five and she can spell her name backwards? Why this is remarkable.”

The headmistress was talking to a parent who was trying to impress her with the child’s academic prowess so that she would be accepted into the school.

“Yes, we’re very proud of her,” said the mother.
“And what is your daughter’s name?”
“Anna.”

Submitted by Bavenesha Sivakumar

Whales Jokes Times

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah”.

The teacher asked, “What if Jonah went to hell?”

The little girl replied, “Then you ask him “.

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Class Photo Jokes Times

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer; she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.'”

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, “And there’s the teacher; …she’s dead.”

Difference between Teachers and Educators Jokes Times

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints. Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man…. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.

To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

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