Monday, February 17, 2020
School Jokes

I-Like-How-You-Think-Jokes-Times

A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?”

Johnny says, “None.” The teacher asks, “Why?” Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.” The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.”

Johnny then asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?”

The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.”

Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”

I Need A Drink Jokes Times Jokes Times
  1. You are different and that’s bad.
  2. Pop goes the hamster…… and other great microwave games.
  3. What is that dog doing to that other dog?
  4. The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins and the Vice Squad.
  5. Barbar meets the taxidermist.
  6. Testing home made parachutes using household pets.
  7. Garfield gets feline leukemia.
  8. The Kids’ Guide to hitchhiking.
  9. The pop-up book of human anatomy.
  10. Things rich kids have, but you never shall.
  11. The Care Bears maul some campers and are shot dead.
  12. The boy who died from eating all his vegetables.
  13. Controlling the Playground: Respect through fear.
  14. You were an accident.
  15. Some Kittens can fly!
  16. Daddy drinks because you cry.
  17. Curious George and the high voltage fence.
  18. How to become the dominant military power in your primary school.
  19. Mr. Fork and Ms. Electrical Point become friends.
  20. Start an estate agency with the change from your mums purse.

Chicken Sandwiches Jokes Times

A little boy and a little girl attended the same school and became friends.

Every day they would sit together to eat their lunch. They discovered that they both brought chicken sandwiches every day! This went on all through the fourth and fifth grades, until one day he noticed that her sandwich wasn’t a chicken sandwich.

He said, “Hey, how come you’re not eating chicken, don’t you like it anymore?”

She said “I love it but I have to stop eating it.” “Why?” he asked. She pointed to her lap and said “Cause I’m starting to grow little feathers down there!”

“Let me see” he said. “Okay” and she pulled up her skirt. He looked and said, “That’s right. You are! Better not eat any more chicken.”

He kept eating his chicken sandwiches until one day he brought peanut butter.

He said to the little girl, “I have to stop eating chicken sandwiches, I’m starting to get feathers down there too!”

She asked if she could look, so he pulled down his pants for her.

She said, “Oh, my God, it’s too late for you! You’ve already got the neck and the gizzards.”

Greeting Cards Jokes Times

A little boy had been pawing over the stock of greeting cards at a stationery store.

After a few minutes the clerk became curious and asked, “Just what is it you’re looking for, sonny? Birthday greeting? Message to a sick friend? Anniversary congratulations to your mom and dad?”

The boy shook his head, “No.”

“Then what kind of card is it that you want?” asked the clerk.

The boy answered wistfully, “Got anything in the line of blank report cards?”

Indian Chosen Name Jokes Times

A young Indian boy came back to the reservation for a family visit after his first year at college. When his dad asked him about his first year at school, he said: I’m having trouble with people making fun of me, especially my Indian name. How did you come to give your children such odd names”?

His father said: “When your brother was born, I looked out the teepee and I saw an eagle flying so I named him Little Eagle and when your sister was born, I looked out the teepee and saw a deer grazing, so I named her spotted fawn. Why do you ask, Two Dogs Fucking”?

Four Little Animals Jokes Times

A teacher asked her class, “What do you want out of life?”

A little girl in the back row raised her hand and said, “All I want out of life is four little animals.”

The teacher asked, “Really and what four little animals would that be sugar?”

The little girl said “A mink on my back, a jaguar in the garage, a tiger in bed and a jackass to pay for all of it”.

The Teacher Fainted

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