Tuesday, November 19, 2019
Work Jokes

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I Do not Believe in Icons Jokes Times

Tech Support: “All right… now double-click on the File Manager icon.”

Customer: “That’s why I hate this Windows – because of the icons I’ma Protestant, and I don’t believe in icons.”

Tech Support: “Well, that’s just an industry term sir. I don’t Believe it was meant to-”

Customer: “I don’t care about any ‘Industry Terms’. I don’t believe in icons.”

Tech Support: “Well…why don’t you click on the ‘little picture’ of a filing cabinet…is ‘little picture’ OK?”

Customer: [click]

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Etch-A-Sketch Technical Support Jokes Times

Q: My Etch-A-Sketch has all of these funny little lines all over the screen.
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I turn my Etch-A-Sketch off?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What’s the shortcut for Undo?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I create a New Document window?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I set the background and foreground to the same color?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: What is the proper procedure for rebooting my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I delete a document on my Etch-A-Sketch?
A: Pick it up and shake it.

Q: How do I save my Etch-A-Sketch document?
A: Don’t shake it.

0 97
Microsoft Help Desk Jokes Times

Help desk: Microsoft Tech. Support, may I help you?

Old woman: Good afternoon! I have waited over 4 hours for you. Can you please tell me how long it will take before you can help me?

Helpdesk: Uhh..? Pardon, I don’t understand your problem?

Old woman: I was working in Word and clicked the help button more than 4 hours ago. Can you tell me when you will finally be helping me?

0 109
Lost In Seattle Jokes Times

A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft’s electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter’s position and course to steer to the airport.

The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter’s window. The pilot’s sign said ‘WHERE AM I?’ in large letters.

People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said ‘YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER.’

The pilot smiled, waved, looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport, and landed safely.

After they were on the ground, the copilot asked the pilot how the ‘YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER’ sign helped determine their position.

The pilot responded ‘I knew that had to be the MICROSOFT building because they gave me a technically correct, but completely useless answer.’

0 148
Letter P Jokes Times

Tech Support: “OK Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.

Now type the letter ‘P’ to bring up the Program Manager.”

Customer: “I don’t have a ‘P’.”

Tech Support: “On your keyboard, Bob.”

Customer: “What do you mean?”

Tech Support: “‘P’ on your keyboard, Bob.”

Customer: “I’m not going to do that!”

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Job Benefits Package Jokes Times

The young accounting graduate, fresh out of uni and knowing everything, applied for his first job. The prospective employer asked him what starting salary he was looking for. “Oh, around $100,000 a year, depending on the benefits package.” Graduate replied.

“Well, how does this sound? Five weeks annual leave, 22.5% superannuation, paid expenses to overseas conferences every year, home telephone reimbursed and a company car replaced every 20,000 kilometers, say a Mercedes convertible.” Employer offered.

The graduate sat up straight and tried not to look excited. “Wow. Are you kidding?” “Yeah. But you started it.”

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