Tuesday, November 20, 2018
Others

Indian Horse Ride Jokes Times

An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a whoop so loud that it would echo from the surrounding hills. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final, “Yahoo!” and rode off. “What did you do to get that Indian so excited?” asked the service station attendant.

“Nothing,” shrugged the woman, ” I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto his saddle horn so I wouldn’t fall off.”

“Lady,” the attendant said, “Indians ride bareback……..”

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Airport Encounters Jokes Times

I was in the airport VIP lounge in route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago. While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink.

I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late.

Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman, introduced myself, and said, “Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor.”

“Yes?”

“I’m sitting right over there,” pointing to my seat at the bar, “and I’m waiting on a very important client. Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say, ‘Hi, Ray,’?”

“Sure.”

I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat.

About ten minutes later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to talk business.

A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates.

“Hi, Ray,” he said.

I replied, “Get lost Gates, I’m in a meeting.”

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Senility Jokes Times

An elderly man went to his doctor and said, “Doc, I think I’m getting senile. Several times lately, I have forgotten to zip up.”

“That’s not senility,” replied the doctor. “Senility is when you forget to zip down.”

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Helpline - Diskette Jokes Times

Customer?Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Helpdesk: Have you tried pushing the button?

Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Helpdesk: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note ….”

Customer: No … wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still
on my desk… sorry ……..

Three Kinds of Sex Jokes Times

My aunt used to tell me there were three kinds of sex in a marriage. There was exciting sex, necessary sex, and hallway sex. “Exciting sex is when you’re first married and you can’t wait to get at each other. Necessary sex is after you’ve been married for seven or eight years and it’s more of a chore than anything else.

Hallway sex is after you’ve been married for thirty or forty years and you pass each other in the hallway and say “Fuck you!”

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A Strange Jigsaw Puzzle Jokes Times

Paddy gets a phone call from Murphy, “Paddy, I’ve got a problem.” says Murphy

“What’s the matter?” replies Paddy.

“I’ve bought a jigsaw and it’s too hard. None of the pieces fit together, and I can’t find any edges.” Said Murphy.

“What’s the picture of?” asks Paddy.

“It’s of a big rooster,” Murphy replies.

Paddy says, “Alright, Murphy, I’ll come over and have a look.”

He gets to Murphy’s house and Murphy opens the door. “Oh thanks for coming Paddy.” He leads Paddy into the kitchen and show him the jigsaw on the kitchen table.

Paddy looks at the jigsaw, then turns to Murphy and says, “For God’s sake Murphy, put the cornflakes back in the packet.”

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